Resources from Home Ownership: When is the right time?

May 10th, 2012 by Molly Herndon

More than 160 participants joined the May 8 session of Home Ownership: When is the right time? presented by Certified Housing Counselor and N.C. Cooperative Extension Agent Jayne McBurney and Dr. Carolyn Bird, Military Families Learning Network’s Personal Finance Concentration area principal investigator and N.C. State University associate professor. Our presenters, and participants, shared a number of great resources related to the home buying process. Here are some that were captured.

If you’d like to share a resource not listed here, please do so in the comments section below this post.

Working with “Complex” Families

May 9th, 2012 by H. Marissa Stone

Imagine this scenario:

Dad is divorced and has custody of his two young daughters.  Recently, he remarried, and last week he was deployed. His second wife and new stepmom receives a call.   The youngest daughter, who is 8 years old, has been injured at school.  The school nurse needs consent for medical treatment.  Oops!  Stepmom doesn’t know what to do, or what her legal rights are.

Step Family

Step Family

For stepparents, this is an altogether too common and sometimes frightening situation.  Deployment often means that the stepparent has to take on a new role as both the mom and the dad, and must assume new responsibilities and tasks with little or no preparation.  For stepfamilies, deployment can be particularly challenging because of the murkiness that often exists for who has legal authority.

Did you know that in most cases, stepparents have no legal authority when it comes to making decisions or even getting information about their stepchildren’s education, benefits programs, medical treatment or health care?

Dr. Francesca Adler-Baeder, Director of the Center for Children, Youth, and Families at Auburn, is the Stepfamily Association of America and oversees the activities of the National Stepfamily Resource Center, a division of Auburn University’s Center for Children, Youth, and Families.

In this short video clip, Adler-Baeder offers suggestions for working with stepfamilies serving in the military and briefly introduces a new set of learning modules geared to stepfamilies (soon to be available through the National Stepfamily Resource Center).

What tips would you give to Military Family Resource Providers?

 

Yes, stepfamilies face many challenges.  But Adler-Baeder offers reassurance to those working with “complex families” like stepfamilies in which the custodial parents are deployed.  She says that military families are strong and resilient, that by definition military families are service-oriented, and that family members have a “similar service-heart.”

See Adler-Baeder respond to the question, “What makes military families strong and resilient?” in this short interview at the 2011 National Council on Family Relations (NCFR) Conference

 

Here are some of the issues that stepfamilies about to be deployed need to discuss.  Those working with these complex families can facilitate these discussions and help both stepparents and custodial parents feel more secure and less stressed when the time comes to assume new roles and new responsibilities.

Issues to discuss:

  • How will the stepparent be able to facilitate contact between the child and the deployed parent?
  • If the stepparent is married to a noncustodial parent, will the stepparent be allowed to have regular access to the child?
  • If the stepparent is married to a custodial parent, what will happen if the noncustodial parent wants custody during the deployed parent’s absence?
  • Will the deployment affect child support payments?
  • Will the stepparent need to move the child to a different location, enroll the child in school, negotiate with the school about the stepchild’s special needs, enroll the child in benefit programs, consent to medical care, enroll the child in daycare, summer camps, sports activities or other special programs, or insure the child’s participation in religious training or programs?
  • If the stepparent will need to travel abroad with the child, is the child’s passport in order and are there any special permissions that will be needed?
  • Are there any pending legal actions involving the child?
  • Are there financial arrangements that need to be made with regard to the child, involving matters such as tuition payments, health insurance payments, support, or property?

Caring for Young Military Children’s Mental Health

May 9th, 2012 by Kathy Reschke

smiling babyWednesday, May 9, is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. We don’t usually think about “mental health” in terms of very young children, so to help explore it in more familiar terms, I took the World Health Organization’s definition of mental health and whittled it down to child-size.

Mental health is a state of well-being in which the child:

  • realizes his or her own abilities,
  • can cope with the stresses of life,
  • can pursue his or her desire to play and learn,
  • and experiences a sense of belonging and value in his or her social groups (e.g, family, classroom).

Those who care for and teach young children professionally have the privilege and responsibility of nurturing each of these characteristics in every child. That role can take on even more importance for children from military families. Military family life by its very nature typically means lots of changes for children – some of them very BIG changes, and most of them coming as a result of events over which they have no control. Even the youngest child feels the stress.

A knowledgeable, responsive caregiver can be a valuable source of comfort and help in coping. But supporting military children’s mental health and emotional well-being doesn’t require a degree in social work or counseling. Think again about those four characteristics of mental health in a child.

You help a child realize his own abilities by…

…talking with him about what he can do to stay connected to his deployed parent, help the parent who is still at home, or welcome the returning parent home. Then make sure he has everything he needs to carry out his plan.

…allowing him to make choices – lots of them! Express your trust in his ability to figure out problems and make plans (with only the support from you that he needs to succeed).

…noticing and commenting when he is thoughtful toward a friend or manages a conflict well, especially if it’s during a time when you know he is under the stress of changes or difficult circumstances.

You help a child cope with the stresses of life by…

…letting her act out her thoughts and emotions about her military mom or dad in her pretend play, even when that means acting out scenes with death, injury or other frightening events.

reading books with her that have characters dealing with some of the same emotions and difficult situations that she is facing. Give her encouragement and time to share her thoughts and feelings with you.

…creating a safe place where her thoughts and feelings can be expressed, acknowledged and understood.

You help a child pursue his desire to play and learn by…

Boy playing with blocks…giving him big chunks of unstructured time for him to follow his own curiosity.

…listening to the questions he asks and the observations he makes, then providing him with materials and experiences that will enable him to explore even further. Recognize that his play will give you a special window on the way he sees and understands his world, so pay attention!

…respecting the large space that military experiences and concepts take up in his thoughts and feelings, and therefore in his play and learning. Recognize their importance to his developing sense of self.

You help a child experience a sense of belonging and value in her social groups by…

…finding ways to make her feel at home and part of the group from the moment she walks in your door for the first time.

…allowing her to choose children to become friends with, and giving them ample time to develop their relationship. Friendship is one of the best buffers for children under stress.

…working hard to create a strong partnership with her parents right from the start. Seeing a positive relationship between her parents and teacher creates a sense of security and belonging for her.

The life of a military child includes changes in relationships, changes in surroundings, and changes in routines. Those changes can be very unsettling. By offering a place where the child knows what to expect each day, and where those expectations are of joy and safety and belonging, we are offering firm ground for him or her to stand on amid the changes.

We’re fostering mental health.

 

by Kathy Reschke

Understanding the Recovery Phases After an Amputation

May 7th, 2012 by Rachel Brauner

Helping Hand (Amputee)The pre- and post-amputation process can be difficult for you and your wounded warrior. It is important that you, as a military caregiver, learn about the issues you both may face.

The Amputee Coalition of America uses six phases to describe the recovery process after an amputation.

However, understanding these phases and applying them to your caregiving role can be challenging. Let’s take a look at what your loved one may be going through during their amputee journey and what you can do to help them through this process.

Phase 1: Enduring

In the first phase, your wounded warrior may experience the need to focus on the present to get through the pain, while blocking out distress about the future. It is a conscious choice not to deal with the full meaning of the loss.

Caregiver
During this phase, reassure him or her about your commitment and provide a comfortable environment while they are dealing with the pain and loss.

Phase 2: Suffering

In the second phase, the wounded warrior may have intense feelings about the loss of a limb or limbs. These feelings may include fear, denial, anger, depression, and confusion. This emotional anguish about the loss of self adds to the pain.

Caregiver
You can listen and offer help when your wounded service member experiences pain, worry, anger, frustration, and fear. When they request your help, get them to tell you what they need and talk about how you can handle the situation together.

Phase 3: Reckoning

During the reckoning phase, the wounded warrior is: coming to terms with the extent of the loss of limb or limbs, accepting what is left after the loss and understanding the implications for the future, and minimizing his or her own losses in comparison to others’ losses.

Caregiver
You can help your loved one accept current life changes and offer hope for the future by learning with them about advances in rehabilitation and prosthetic design.

Phase 4: Reconciling

In the reconciling phase, the wounded warrior begins to: regain control, become aware of his or her strengths and uniqueness, be more assertive, take control of his or her life, and manage their recovery process.

Caregiver
It is important to show patience during the reconciling phase and let him or her do as much as they can, even if it takes them longer or if they do things differently than you would.

Phase 5: Normalizing

In the normalizing phase, your warrior will begin to: balance his or her life, establish new routines, and once again concentrate on the things that matter, allowing priorities other than the loss to dominate his or her life.

Caregiver
By maintaining a schedule of daily activities, you will help the warrior focus on a routine and restore balance in both your lives.

Phase 6: Thriving

Not all military amputees attain the final recovery phase of thriving. Thriving is being more than before, trusting self and others, building confidence, and being a role model.

Caregiver
To help your loved one thrive, encourage him or her to interact with others who share in similar situations. This provides a positive outlook not only for themselves, but also for those just starting the recovery phase.


Caregiving can be emotionally and intellectually challenging at times for both you and your military amputee. Your support and care are vital in helping your wounded warrior succeed. While this new role in your life can be challenging, know that you are not alone–there is hope.

For more information regarding characteristics of military amputations and strategies for coping with an amputee patient go to Caregivers of Military Amputee. Also for additional information on caregiving, visit Caregiving 101 to learn more about this new caregiving role in your life and the emotional aspects that may affect you and your family.

 

 

Home Ownership: When is the right time?

May 2nd, 2012 by Molly Herndon

The Personal Finance group will present a web conference on the largest financial transaction most individuals or families make: purchasing a home. On May 8 at 2:30 p.m. ET, N.C. Extension Agent and certified housing counselor, Jayne McBurney, M.S. and Dr. Carolyn Bird, Principal Investigator of the Military Families Learning Network’s Personal Finance Professional Development Project, will present this important topic.

There are a myriad of factors to consider before the purchase of a home. This decision can be more complex for military families who have the consideration of relocation. This conference will cover:

  • The home buying process
  • Financial readiness
  • How to determine housing affordability and service-related considerations

Selected research articles and online resources have been identified to enhance this presentation for participants.

AFC-credentialed participants will be eligible to receive 1.5 CEUs from AFCPE for participating in this 90-minute web session.

To join the session, log on as “guest” here: https://connect.extension.iastate.edu/milfam just a few minutes before 2:30 p.m. on May 8. No registration is required.

Click here too learn more about the Military Families Learning Network.

For more information about this upcoming web conference, visit the eXtension Learn site.

How Can Communities Support Military Families?

May 1st, 2012 by H. Marissa Stone
Carole Gnatuk
Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.

Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist, University of Kentucky, says that there are seven distinct stages of emotional challenges faced by military families during and after deployment—and that failure to successfully negotiate each stage can create havoc for the family.

According to Gnatuk, the stages in this “emotional cycle of deployment” are:

  • Stage 1: Anticipation of Departure
  • Stage 2: Detachment and Withdrawal
  • Stage 3: Emotional Disorganization
  • Stage 4: Recovery and Stabilization
  • Stage 5: Anticipation of Return
  • Stage 6: Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
  • Stage 7: Reintegration and Stabilization

Wanting to help military families cope with deployment, Gnatuk and her team at University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension developed a new program, Communities Support Military Families. While developed in Kentucky, Communities Support Military Families is national in scope–its materials contain no state-specific references and can be used by anyone.

Here’s how Gnatuk explains the program:

Woman Looking at Portrait of Soldier

Woman Looking at Portrait of Soldier

Most of us know firsthand the power of good neighbors reaching out to each other with practical support. It’s just what friendly people do. Now, cutting edge research is showing that intentional, informal, friendly networks, undergirded by community agencies, can be highly effective in strengthening resilience and mental health in National Guard and Reserve members and their families. They live among all of us, often unrecognized but with unmet needs. Communities Support Military Families discusses the rationale, raises awareness, and provides suggestions for sensitive listening and for taking up the slack of families with absent or recently returned fathers, mothers, or spouses. This program has been effectively utilized by Extension community volunteers in Kentucky through family to family contacts doing lawn mowing, kid transportation, shopping errands, and car fixing; in public schools through family recognition evenings and bulletin boards; county fairs through family photos on t-shirts and pillow cases; and in cooperation with Operation: Military Kids, promoting summer family camps, to name just a few projects.  (Personal communication with Carole Gnatuk, April 23, 2012)

Here are some suggestions from the Communities Support Military Families program for ways you can help support the military families in your community:

  • Child Feeling Left Out

    Child Feeling Left Out

  • Befriending a military family with a member who is or will soon be deployed—and then be prepared for the long haul!  Keeping up friendship throughout the seven stages of the entire deployment cycle is critical.
  • Walk a mile in their “boots”!  Try to put yourself in the family’s situ­ation. Don’t try to offer judgment or solutions to their problems. Be a good listener!
  • Be sensitive about discussing your own views on war or the mili­tary. The family may want to talk over their issues or they may only want your car­ing.
  • Send the children birthday and holiday cards as well as giving small gifts, if appropriate.
  • Call them on a fairly regular basis, just to check in and see how they are doing, if they feel like going out for a walk, or want to come over for dinner.
  • Suggest taking the whole family or perhaps just the children on an outing to a place of interest for fun.
  • Gift the family with tickets to a performance that they might not otherwise be able to afford.
  • Make a point of attending and cheering on the children at sports events, musical perfor­mances, appearances in school plays, or dance recitals.
  • Suggest specific ways that you could support the family once the service member leaves. These sug­gestions will likely ease the anxiety of the soon-to-be deployed family member, as well as the parent staying home.
  • Offer to assist with routine household and family tasks. You might offer to watch the children once a month, clean the house, bring meals in on certain days, mow the lawn, rake leaves, remove snow, or change the oil on the family’s vehicle.
  • Send a care package or letter to the deployed military member. The children in the family might like to help in this activity.
  • Offer to go on a school field trip in place of the parent, or to go along to be an extra set of hands for the children on an outing such as a trip to the zoo or a vis­it to a nearby park.

 

Boy at Teen Adventure Camp
Boy at Teen Adventure Camp

Adventure Camps for Military Teens

Do you know a teen from a deployed military family in your community who might be interested in—and benefit from—a high energy, high adventure, and high experience camp? 

Now through March 2013, nearly 1,600 military teens (14-18 years old) will have an opportunity to participate in adventure camps at little to no cost, thanks to a partnership between the Dept. of Defense and NIFA/USDA. These high energy, high adventure, and high experience camps are being conducted by experience 4-H Youth Development and Cooperative Extension staff.

Each camp offers a unique outdoor experience that will allow a teen to build leadership, self-confidence, and teamwork skills while participating in activities like backpacking, river rafting, canoeing, wilderness survival, rocketry, rock climbing, GPS use, mountain biking, first aid, winter camping, dog sledding, ropes courses, camp cooking, archery, and other camp activities.

There are camps being scheduled and planned across the U.S. from Alaska to Maine and from Colorado to Georgia as well as states in between. Camps for youth with special needs (mental, physical, and emotional) are also planned in California, Ohio, and New Hampshire. For military youth already in the Pacific Rim, two camp dates are available in Hawaii.

You might be able to suggest one of these scheduled camps to a military family in your community and make a big difference in a young person’s ability to cope with their mom or dad’s deployment.

Teenagers Eating Marshmallows by Campfire

Teenagers Eating Marshmallows by Campfire

 

How is your community supporting military families? Share your story in the comments below.

How Can We Support Returning Veterans and their Families?

May 1st, 2012 by H. Marissa Stone

 

Returning Soldier

Soldier Returning from Service

Reunion, Reintegration, Resilience

Today there are nearly two million children who have a parent in the military.  More than 900,000 military children have had a parent deploy multiple times.  In addition to the military-related stressors of multiple moves and schools, children also have had to deal with long-term, multiple deployments and separations from one, or both, parents.

But now with the drawdown of our military forces and fewer deployments, many of these service member parents are coming home. Coming home.  What does “coming home” mean to these children?  What does coming home mean to the daily rhythms of family life?  How does family resilience plan a role in reintegration?

There’s been months of anticipation and counting the days.  Birthdays have come and gone, holidays have been celebrated and missed and all of the normal, day-to-day ups and downs in a family’s daily routine have somehow managed to take place while mom or dad was deployed.  But now the service member is coming home.  What does that mean for the family?

Reintegration means that families need to take time and take stock of what it means to be a family.  Mom, dad and the kids need to tap into the programs available to them that will help them gain a renewed sense of their roles, develop a sense of belonging to a new family unit, and nurture their own resilience.

In her recent web conference on the Military Families Learning Network, Balancing Work and Family: Building Military Family Resilience, Angela Wiley, Associate Professor of Applied Family Studies and Extension Specialist, University of Illinois, defined resilience as “a dynamic process encompassing positive adaptation within the context of significant adversity.” She said that families can benefit from, as well as contribute to, a network of relationships and resources in their communities.  Dr. Wiley pointed to the importance of developing new routines, new traditions, new celebrations and expanded social support systems.

Resources for returning veterans and their families

As veterans and their families re-start their lives, finding new jobs and starting new careers plays a critically important role in reintegration.

Hire a Soldier

Hire a Soldier

  • Joining Forces is one of President Obama’s initiatives to encourage the public to give service members and their families the support and opportunities they need and have earned through their service to our country.  Whether this re-start means creating new routines and developing new family traditions, or is complicated by finding ways to adjust to permanent injuries or other hardships, Joining Forces has created resources specifically designed to help veterans translate their military skills into the civilian workforce.  The Obama Administration has intentionally partnered with corporations and businesses to make it easier for veterans to connect with companies that are ready to hire them and help them re-start their lives.
  • Google for Veterans was developed by and for veterans, as well as the families of veterans and friends who work at Google.  There are tools for reconnecting, restarting and transitioning to civilian life.
  • Veterans Education and Transition Services or “VETS” incorporates academics, institutional access, student involvement and research, not only to support the success of enrolled student veterans, but to understand their experiences more authentically and maintain a program that is effective and dynamic.
  • Soldier with Yellow Ribbon
    Soldier with Yellow Ribbon

    Beyond the Yellow Ribbon is a comprehensive program that creates awareness for the purpose of connecting service members and their families with community support, training, services and resources.

  • RecruitMilitary is a veteran-owned firm dedicated to helping you achieve your dreams: education, veteran jobs and civilian careers, new business and franchise ownership, training, and much more.
  • Vet Jobs Why hire veterans?  Quite simply, veterans make the best employees!  The U.S. military is the world’s largest technical training school with over 220 occupational specialties.   Veterans represent the most highly trained, technically capable, verifiable, diverse and teamwork oriented work force in the world.  At VetJobs, veterans can find employment assistance, post a resume and search open positions—over 44,00 open jobs are listed!

Now it’s your turn. Tell us your story in the comments section below. Are you a returning veteran or have you worked with a returning veteran? Do you have any tips or advice you would like to share?

The Timing of the One Purple Tweet

April 27th, 2012 by Amy Hays

This is the story of one Tweet’s journey.  Friday, April 13th, 2012, was a day people were encouraged to wear purple in support of Military Kids.  Across the nation, communication services in the Cooperative Extension system went to work promoting the event. Twitter bird sending a tweet that looks like a t-shirt News releases were published and a social media effort was pushed out encouraging everyone to wear purple.  We often ask ourselves what is the payback or “reach” of off these new outreach methods.  This is where the story of one Purple Tweet started.

On April 5th, one person saw a Tweet about “Purple Up” day from the Military Families Learning Network Twitter channel.  This one person sent one email to the superintendent of one school district in Texas.  The superintendent of Gatesville Independent School District sent one email to each one of his campus’ administrators sharing the hope that staff and students would wear purple on Friday the 13th to support military kids on their campus’.  This may have been the end of this one Tweets adventure, but it wasn’t.

On Friday, April 13th, in what was a separate journey, one soldier was finally returning home to his family after finishing his deployment.   Unbeknownst to his children, he was headed home to Gatesville to surprise them.  At 11:30 a.m. he walked into the building and the classroom of one of his children.  He was happily reunited with his child and opened his eyes to find one classroom full of purple on this one special day.  The local newspaper was there to capture the moment.  A few hours later, after everyone had laughed – and cried a little – the superintendent of the one small town, of the one school building, of the one purple classroom, of the one happy family, sent one email back to the person who sent him to message about the Tweet,  “timing is everything!”  Sometimes, all it takes is one!

Military Teen Adventure Camps: Don’t miss out!

April 26th, 2012 by Lindsay Myers

Do you have a teen who would like to spend time whitewater rafting, hiking, rock climbing, winter camping, backpacking, mountain biking, exploring the environment, running ropes courses, geo-caching, or practicing wilderness skills? What if they could do these activities with other military youth just like them?

Military teens (14-18 years old) will have an opportunity to participate in adventure camps at little to no cost scheduled April 2012 through March 2013. These high energy, high adventure, and high experience camps are planned across the United States from Alaska to Maine, and from Colorado to Georgia, as well as states in between. There are even opportunities for military teens in the Pacific Rim. There will be a total of 50 camps offered at different locations and dates for approximately 1,600 teens. This is the perfect chance for them to experience the outdoors like never before!

Each camp offers a unique outdoor experience that will allow teens to build leadership, self-confidence, and teamwork skills while participating in activities. Camps for youth with special needs (mental, physical, and emotional) are also planned in California, Ohio, and New Hampshire, as well as camps for Service Members and their teens to experience together. There is something for everyone!

We would like to thank the Department of Defense, Office of Military Community & Family Policy and the United States Department of Agriculture/National Institute of Food & Agriculture for supporting the funding for our camps. These efforts have been coordinated by Dr. Renee McKee at Purdue University.

Please see our main website for camp dates, locations, and registration here. Visit our Facebook page to see pictures from last year’s camps and ‘like’ us to receive updates.

 

If know of teens of military service members, please share this information with them.

We hope to see your familiy at camp this year!

What is Open Source?

April 20th, 2012 by Stephen Judd

In 1999, Rob McEwen, the CEO of a struggling Canadian gold-mining company named Goldcorp, Inc., did something totally unexpected and radical at the time, especially within his industry.

In an effort to locate more gold for extraction, he opened his company secrets to the world — all the geological data Goldcorp had compiled for decades — with an offer of $575,000 in prize money to the people who used this data to work out the best prospecting plans.

Picture of Linus TorvaldAs it turned out, a Finnish computer programmer named Linus Torvalds (pictured right) was a driving influence behind this radical idea.

A generation ago, before the Worldwide Web had been invented, the Helsinki programmer created a simple version of the UNIX operating system, dubbed it Linux, and shared it with other programmers on a computer bulletin board.

Anyone was free to use Linux and even to improve it, providing they shared these improvements with everyone else.  An informal structure emerged to manage ongoing improvements of this software.  In time, though, something even more significant occurred:  because it was free, reliable and convenient, Linux became the basis for many Web hosting services and ultimately, databases.

In time, it also became embedded in the technologies and products of many highly profitable companies.

Torvalds was scarcely aware of it at the time, but his creative inspiration formed much of the basis for one of the most far-reaching innovations in recent decades, and a new mode of economic production: open source.

Even so, while Torvalds was a major influence, the single biggest factor has been the advent of Web 2.0.

As Donald Tapscott and Anthony Williams contend in their bestselling book “Wikinomics: How Mass Collaboration Changes Everything,” the rapid acceleration of scientific and technological progress following the development of Web 2.0 has demonstrated  to growing numbers of companies and other entities that  holding resources and assets close to their chests is often self-defeating.

Indeed, as McEwen discovered more than a decade ago, companies are increasingly finding it more profitable to share information in hopes of enlisting the diverse expertise available through virtual networking.

One of the most noteworthy and potentially far-reaching examples of the new open-source approach is the Human Genome Project, an international research effort through which the sequence of human DNA will be stored in databases available to anyone on the Internet — an effort that is expected to benefit medical science in ways we can scarcely imagine.

 

Author: Jim Langcuster (@extensionguy)

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.