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Working with “Complex” Families

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Imagine this scenario:

Dad is divorced and has custody of his two young daughters.  Recently, he remarried, and last week he was deployed. His second wife and new stepmom receives a call.   The youngest daughter, who is 8 years old, has been injured at school.  The school nurse needs consent for medical treatment.  Oops!  Stepmom doesn’t know what to do, or what her legal rights are.

Step Family

Step Family

For stepparents, this is an altogether too common and sometimes frightening situation.  Deployment often means that the stepparent has to take on a new role as both the mom and the dad, and must assume new responsibilities and tasks with little or no preparation.  For stepfamilies, deployment can be particularly challenging because of the murkiness that often exists for who has legal authority.

Did you know that in most cases, stepparents have no legal authority when it comes to making decisions or even getting information about their stepchildren’s education, benefits programs, medical treatment or health care?

Dr. Francesca Adler-Baeder, Director of the Center for Children, Youth, and Families at Auburn, is the Stepfamily Association of America and oversees the activities of the National Stepfamily Resource Center, a division of Auburn University’s Center for Children, Youth, and Families.

In this short video clip, Adler-Baeder offers suggestions for working with stepfamilies serving in the military and briefly introduces a new set of learning modules geared to stepfamilies (soon to be available through the National Stepfamily Resource Center).

What tips would you give to Military Family Resource Providers?

 

Yes, stepfamilies face many challenges.  But Adler-Baeder offers reassurance to those working with “complex families” like stepfamilies in which the custodial parents are deployed.  She says that military families are strong and resilient, that by definition military families are service-oriented, and that family members have a “similar service-heart.”

See Adler-Baeder respond to the question, “What makes military families strong and resilient?” in this short interview at the 2011 National Council on Family Relations (NCFR) Conference

 

Here are some of the issues that stepfamilies about to be deployed need to discuss.  Those working with these complex families can facilitate these discussions and help both stepparents and custodial parents feel more secure and less stressed when the time comes to assume new roles and new responsibilities.

Issues to discuss:

  • How will the stepparent be able to facilitate contact between the child and the deployed parent?
  • If the stepparent is married to a noncustodial parent, will the stepparent be allowed to have regular access to the child?
  • If the stepparent is married to a custodial parent, what will happen if the noncustodial parent wants custody during the deployed parent’s absence?
  • Will the deployment affect child support payments?
  • Will the stepparent need to move the child to a different location, enroll the child in school, negotiate with the school about the stepchild’s special needs, enroll the child in benefit programs, consent to medical care, enroll the child in daycare, summer camps, sports activities or other special programs, or insure the child’s participation in religious training or programs?
  • If the stepparent will need to travel abroad with the child, is the child’s passport in order and are there any special permissions that will be needed?
  • Are there any pending legal actions involving the child?
  • Are there financial arrangements that need to be made with regard to the child, involving matters such as tuition payments, health insurance payments, support, or property?

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Understanding the Recovery Phases After an Amputation

Monday, May 7th, 2012

Helping Hand (Amputee)The pre- and post-amputation process can be difficult for you and your wounded warrior. It is important that you, as a military caregiver, learn about the issues you both may face.

The Amputee Coalition of America uses six phases to describe the recovery process after an amputation.

However, understanding these phases and applying them to your caregiving role can be challenging. Let’s take a look at what your loved one may be going through during their amputee journey and what you can do to help them through this process.

Phase 1: Enduring

In the first phase, your wounded warrior may experience the need to focus on the present to get through the pain, while blocking out distress about the future. It is a conscious choice not to deal with the full meaning of the loss.

Caregiver
During this phase, reassure him or her about your commitment and provide a comfortable environment while they are dealing with the pain and loss.

Phase 2: Suffering

In the second phase, the wounded warrior may have intense feelings about the loss of a limb or limbs. These feelings may include fear, denial, anger, depression, and confusion. This emotional anguish about the loss of self adds to the pain.

Caregiver
You can listen and offer help when your wounded service member experiences pain, worry, anger, frustration, and fear. When they request your help, get them to tell you what they need and talk about how you can handle the situation together.

Phase 3: Reckoning

During the reckoning phase, the wounded warrior is: coming to terms with the extent of the loss of limb or limbs, accepting what is left after the loss and understanding the implications for the future, and minimizing his or her own losses in comparison to others’ losses.

Caregiver
You can help your loved one accept current life changes and offer hope for the future by learning with them about advances in rehabilitation and prosthetic design.

Phase 4: Reconciling

In the reconciling phase, the wounded warrior begins to: regain control, become aware of his or her strengths and uniqueness, be more assertive, take control of his or her life, and manage their recovery process.

Caregiver
It is important to show patience during the reconciling phase and let him or her do as much as they can, even if it takes them longer or if they do things differently than you would.

Phase 5: Normalizing

In the normalizing phase, your warrior will begin to: balance his or her life, establish new routines, and once again concentrate on the things that matter, allowing priorities other than the loss to dominate his or her life.

Caregiver
By maintaining a schedule of daily activities, you will help the warrior focus on a routine and restore balance in both your lives.

Phase 6: Thriving

Not all military amputees attain the final recovery phase of thriving. Thriving is being more than before, trusting self and others, building confidence, and being a role model.

Caregiver
To help your loved one thrive, encourage him or her to interact with others who share in similar situations. This provides a positive outlook not only for themselves, but also for those just starting the recovery phase.

Caregiving can be emotionally and intellectually challenging at times for both you and your military amputee. Your support and care are vital in helping your wounded warrior succeed. While this new role in your life can be challenging, know that you are not alone–there is hope.

For more information regarding characteristics of military amputations and strategies for coping with an amputee patient go to Caregivers of Military Amputee. Also for additional information on caregiving, visit Caregiving 101 to learn more about this new caregiving role in your life and the emotional aspects that may affect you and your family.

 

 

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How Can Communities Support Military Families?

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
Carole Gnatuk
Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D.

Carole Gnatuk, Ed.D., Extension Child Development Specialist, University of Kentucky, says that there are seven distinct stages of emotional challenges faced by military families during and after deployment—and that failure to successfully negotiate each stage can create havoc for the family.

According to Gnatuk, the stages in this “emotional cycle of deployment” are:

  • Stage 1: Anticipation of Departure
  • Stage 2: Detachment and Withdrawal
  • Stage 3: Emotional Disorganization
  • Stage 4: Recovery and Stabilization
  • Stage 5: Anticipation of Return
  • Stage 6: Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
  • Stage 7: Reintegration and Stabilization

Wanting to help military families cope with deployment, Gnatuk and her team at University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension developed a new program, Communities Support Military Families. While developed in Kentucky, Communities Support Military Families is national in scope–its materials contain no state-specific references and can be used by anyone.

Here’s how Gnatuk explains the program:

Woman Looking at Portrait of Soldier

Woman Looking at Portrait of Soldier

Most of us know firsthand the power of good neighbors reaching out to each other with practical support. It’s just what friendly people do. Now, cutting edge research is showing that intentional, informal, friendly networks, undergirded by community agencies, can be highly effective in strengthening resilience and mental health in National Guard and Reserve members and their families. They live among all of us, often unrecognized but with unmet needs. Communities Support Military Families discusses the rationale, raises awareness, and provides suggestions for sensitive listening and for taking up the slack of families with absent or recently returned fathers, mothers, or spouses. This program has been effectively utilized by Extension community volunteers in Kentucky through family to family contacts doing lawn mowing, kid transportation, shopping errands, and car fixing; in public schools through family recognition evenings and bulletin boards; county fairs through family photos on t-shirts and pillow cases; and in cooperation with Operation: Military Kids, promoting summer family camps, to name just a few projects.  (Personal communication with Carole Gnatuk, April 23, 2012)

Here are some suggestions from the Communities Support Military Families program for ways you can help support the military families in your community:

  • Child Feeling Left Out

    Child Feeling Left Out

  • Befriending a military family with a member who is or will soon be deployed—and then be prepared for the long haul!  Keeping up friendship throughout the seven stages of the entire deployment cycle is critical.
  • Walk a mile in their “boots”!  Try to put yourself in the family’s situ­ation. Don’t try to offer judgment or solutions to their problems. Be a good listener!
  • Be sensitive about discussing your own views on war or the mili­tary. The family may want to talk over their issues or they may only want your car­ing.
  • Send the children birthday and holiday cards as well as giving small gifts, if appropriate.
  • Call them on a fairly regular basis, just to check in and see how they are doing, if they feel like going out for a walk, or want to come over for dinner.
  • Suggest taking the whole family or perhaps just the children on an outing to a place of interest for fun.
  • Gift the family with tickets to a performance that they might not otherwise be able to afford.
  • Make a point of attending and cheering on the children at sports events, musical perfor­mances, appearances in school plays, or dance recitals.
  • Suggest specific ways that you could support the family once the service member leaves. These sug­gestions will likely ease the anxiety of the soon-to-be deployed family member, as well as the parent staying home.
  • Offer to assist with routine household and family tasks. You might offer to watch the children once a month, clean the house, bring meals in on certain days, mow the lawn, rake leaves, remove snow, or change the oil on the family’s vehicle.
  • Send a care package or letter to the deployed military member. The children in the family might like to help in this activity.
  • Offer to go on a school field trip in place of the parent, or to go along to be an extra set of hands for the children on an outing such as a trip to the zoo or a vis­it to a nearby park.

 

Boy at Teen Adventure Camp
Boy at Teen Adventure Camp

Adventure Camps for Military Teens

Do you know a teen from a deployed military family in your community who might be interested in—and benefit from—a high energy, high adventure, and high experience camp? 

Now through March 2013, nearly 1,600 military teens (14-18 years old) will have an opportunity to participate in adventure camps at little to no cost, thanks to a partnership between the Dept. of Defense and NIFA/USDA. These high energy, high adventure, and high experience camps are being conducted by experience 4-H Youth Development and Cooperative Extension staff.

Each camp offers a unique outdoor experience that will allow a teen to build leadership, self-confidence, and teamwork skills while participating in activities like backpacking, river rafting, canoeing, wilderness survival, rocketry, rock climbing, GPS use, mountain biking, first aid, winter camping, dog sledding, ropes courses, camp cooking, archery, and other camp activities.

There are camps being scheduled and planned across the U.S. from Alaska to Maine and from Colorado to Georgia as well as states in between. Camps for youth with special needs (mental, physical, and emotional) are also planned in California, Ohio, and New Hampshire. For military youth already in the Pacific Rim, two camp dates are available in Hawaii.

You might be able to suggest one of these scheduled camps to a military family in your community and make a big difference in a young person’s ability to cope with their mom or dad’s deployment.

Teenagers Eating Marshmallows by Campfire

Teenagers Eating Marshmallows by Campfire

 

How is your community supporting military families? Share your story in the comments below.

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How Can We Support Returning Veterans and their Families?

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

 

Returning Soldier

Soldier Returning from Service

Reunion, Reintegration, Resilience

Today there are nearly two million children who have a parent in the military.  More than 900,000 military children have had a parent deploy multiple times.  In addition to the military-related stressors of multiple moves and schools, children also have had to deal with long-term, multiple deployments and separations from one, or both, parents.

But now with the drawdown of our military forces and fewer deployments, many of these service member parents are coming home. Coming home.  What does “coming home” mean to these children?  What does coming home mean to the daily rhythms of family life?  How does family resilience plan a role in reintegration?

There’s been months of anticipation and counting the days.  Birthdays have come and gone, holidays have been celebrated and missed and all of the normal, day-to-day ups and downs in a family’s daily routine have somehow managed to take place while mom or dad was deployed.  But now the service member is coming home.  What does that mean for the family?

Reintegration means that families need to take time and take stock of what it means to be a family.  Mom, dad and the kids need to tap into the programs available to them that will help them gain a renewed sense of their roles, develop a sense of belonging to a new family unit, and nurture their own resilience.

In her recent web conference on the Military Families Learning Network, Balancing Work and Family: Building Military Family Resilience, Angela Wiley, Associate Professor of Applied Family Studies and Extension Specialist, University of Illinois, defined resilience as “a dynamic process encompassing positive adaptation within the context of significant adversity.” She said that families can benefit from, as well as contribute to, a network of relationships and resources in their communities.  Dr. Wiley pointed to the importance of developing new routines, new traditions, new celebrations and expanded social support systems.

Resources for returning veterans and their families

As veterans and their families re-start their lives, finding new jobs and starting new careers plays a critically important role in reintegration.

Hire a Soldier

Hire a Soldier

  • Joining Forces is one of President Obama’s initiatives to encourage the public to give service members and their families the support and opportunities they need and have earned through their service to our country.  Whether this re-start means creating new routines and developing new family traditions, or is complicated by finding ways to adjust to permanent injuries or other hardships, Joining Forces has created resources specifically designed to help veterans translate their military skills into the civilian workforce.  The Obama Administration has intentionally partnered with corporations and businesses to make it easier for veterans to connect with companies that are ready to hire them and help them re-start their lives.
  • Google for Veterans was developed by and for veterans, as well as the families of veterans and friends who work at Google.  There are tools for reconnecting, restarting and transitioning to civilian life.
  • Veterans Education and Transition Services or “VETS” incorporates academics, institutional access, student involvement and research, not only to support the success of enrolled student veterans, but to understand their experiences more authentically and maintain a program that is effective and dynamic.
  • Soldier with Yellow Ribbon
    Soldier with Yellow Ribbon

    Beyond the Yellow Ribbon is a comprehensive program that creates awareness for the purpose of connecting service members and their families with community support, training, services and resources.

  • RecruitMilitary is a veteran-owned firm dedicated to helping you achieve your dreams: education, veteran jobs and civilian careers, new business and franchise ownership, training, and much more.
  • Vet Jobs Why hire veterans?  Quite simply, veterans make the best employees!  The U.S. military is the world’s largest technical training school with over 220 occupational specialties.   Veterans represent the most highly trained, technically capable, verifiable, diverse and teamwork oriented work force in the world.  At VetJobs, veterans can find employment assistance, post a resume and search open positions—over 44,00 open jobs are listed!

Now it’s your turn. Tell us your story in the comments section below. Are you a returning veteran or have you worked with a returning veteran? Do you have any tips or advice you would like to share?

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Helping Military Dads Stay Connected

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
Military Dad Playing Ball with Son

Military Dad Playing Ball with Son

In his white paper, Deployed Dads: Strengthening Military and Veteran Fathers, Families and Communities, Richard Lewis says that the negative impact of a father’s military service, especially pre- and post-deployment, can be mitigated by increasing the family’s access to resources.

But where do you start?  What makes sense in terms of helping military fathers transition from active duty to “full-time” dad?

Andrew Behnke, Professor and Human Development Specialist at North Carolina State University, says that we should start with fathers where they are.  Behnke shares, “They might not want to learn about being a dad, or a better spouse, but they will likely want to do things with other dads or with their families—like playing basketball, working out, going on a picnic, or hiking. Educational programs are most effective when they involve ‘stealth education’ – education that is hidden in fun activities and focuses on their kids or things they would do naturally with other guys- that allows fathers to come to programs on topics that interest them, while still providing dads some ways to learn to be the dad they want to be.

 

Behnke suggests, “You might invite dads to a “how to” session on finances or investing.  Or an activity on helping their kids succeed in school or staying connected while apart using technology. These topics can become a spring board for teaching ways that dads can be even more “amazing.” Most dads like to be told what they are doing right and even seen as experts, they don’t like to be told how to parent.  One approach that I like is offering a personal invitation to a dad to attend a program so they can act as a mentor for other dads or learn some things to help the other men in their units. A lot of times it really comes down to fathers feeling that they are heard, and that their opinions are respected.”

Other tips from Behnke for helping military dads rejoin their families:

Military Dad with Little Girl

Military Dad with Little Girl

 

  • A child’s caregiver, often wives (for married dads) and girlfriends or relatives (for other dads) are the gateway to maintaining the connection with their children when dad is deployed. Help dads find their personal style for communicating more and make it a pattern they follow every week.
  • Fathers can be each others’ greatest support. Take time to encourage dads to seek out a natural mentor or a friend that they can relate to and look up to as a father.
  • Church support is also a powerful source of strength for many military dads. Where many other things in their lives change so much a faith community can be a source of stability and support. Helping dads find a church or a community group they really connect with is a great source of strength.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI), nearly two million children of military dads are affected by the unique stresses of military life.  Approximately 593,000 active-duty service members and nearly 300,000 U.S. reservists are dads.  Today there are approximately 150,000 military fathers currently deployed.

As there are lots of military dads there are also lots of resources. To help prepare fathers and their families for the stresses of deployment, transitions, and times away, the NFI offers quality resources developed by seasoned military personnel and offers training and workshops to prepare families for both deployment and reunion, as well as tools for strengthening families.

The Deployed Fathers and Families Guide produced by NFI has numerous resources to help dads anywhere in the deployment cycle.

Another great resource is the Pay it Forward Parenting free online parenting program for military moms and dads.  This free class (normally $299) is taught by one of the world’s foremost authors on parenting Amy McCready and offers an amazing opportunity to learn skills and techniques to be the parent you want to be.

 

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Effects of Visible and Invisible Parent Combat Injuries on Children

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

Study conducted by the Department of Human Development and Family Studies, Michigan State University

Many service members are returning home from combat, but a large number of these individuals have come home at a price. These service members may have experienced significant changes in abilities resulting from loss of limbs; vision or hearing; severe burns; spinal cord injury; traumatic brain injury or posttraumatic stress disorder. Whatever the injury, adapting can be difficult during the reintegration process for wounded service members and their families.

Often times these injuries can unavoidably affect children living in the home and may have an impact on their well-being. By addressing the potential impact of parental injury on children and identifying ways of dealing with the issues, military families can maintain the long-term health and well-being of their children.

Factors effecting how a child interprets an injury

Several factors must be taken into account with how a child interprets an injury.

  1. Obviousness of the Injury–Depending on the severity of the injury and whether it is an invisible or physical injury will determine the wounded warrior’s involvement in daily parental routines. This can sometimes be confusing to children and they may feel rejected, confused, and angry or display a whole range of emotions related to the change.
  2. Changes in the home–Caring for a wounded service member ultimately results in changes within the home. The demands related to caring for the injured may overshadow the parent’s ability to meet the needs of a child, resulting in a negative impact on the child’s emotional, social, and physical development.
  3. Age of the child–Age of children can determine how they perceive changes in the service member and how they react to these changes. For example, an older child might perceive changes in the service member from pre-deployment to post-deployment as drastic; this perception may lead to a complete change in the relationship between the two.

Minimizing the effects of an injury on a child

It is important to keep in mind that there are actions that parents and caregivers can take to help minimize the effects of an injury on a child.

  1. Open, age-appropriate communication–Communication provides reassurance to children about the future.
  2. Family routines and rituals–Deployments and reintegration into civilian life can interrupt normal family routines. When a returning service member comes home, establishing regular routines may improve the household environment for children.
  3. Use of a support network–A support network can include other caregivers, family members and friends that can increase the number of positive, supportive attachment relationships in the child’s life.
  4. Consult a Professional–With an array of resources and services tailored to meet the needs of service members and their families, it may be helpful to seek professional help (e.g. psychotherapist, child therapist, etc.) in helping children negotiate the difficulties related to deployment injury.

Whatever your service member’s condition may be, it is important to fully understand not only how it will affect your life but the life of your children.

Check out Michigan State University’s new article on, Effects of Visible and Invisible Parent Combat Injuries on Children to learn more on how you can better understand the effects of your service members injuries on children.

 

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Posted in child care, family caregiving, family development, military families, parenting, Uncategorized, wounded warrior | No Comments »

Parenting at a Distance: There’s an App for That!

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

 

There's an App for That!

Parenting at a Distance: There’s an App for That!

The role of parenting during deployments can be difficult to maintain across time and space but in the world we live in today, there’s an app for that!

There’s an old saying, “Once a parent, always a parent,” but as many military families can attest, parenting at a distance can be quite a challenge. Finding ways to connect, maintain parental roles and keep up with some of the daily activities our children are engaging in can be difficult when at home, much less during deployments. This is where the marvels of a technological era come into play.

Welcome to the age of technology! While we are not advocating that deployed soldiers sacrifice their work responsibilities, if being a more involved parent or caregiver while deployed is what you seek, a virtual trip to your mobile or online application store may be just the ticket.

Staying Connected

Serviceman Talking to Family

Serviceman Talking to Family

 

According to child development professionals, maintaining a sense of connectivity with your child(ren) “is key” to building strong parent-child relationships. But what happens when a parent or caregiver is deployed? In these situations, developing and maintaining those close parental or caregiver bonds may take some additional effort from all involved. Phone calls, letters, emails, Skype, Yahoo IM, Google Talk, or Google+ Hangout conversations are all excellent ways to communicate with loved ones via long distances and there are other options for maintaining the ties that bind as well.

 

 

 

Bedtime Stories

Storytime

If you find yourself missing your child’s evening bedtime stories, there is a great app called A Story Before Bed that may help you out. And, for a limited time, military service members can record a bedtime story for their child for FREE. The site has a great selection and hundreds of recordable e-book titles. To record, simply use your webcam to capture a video of you reading the story and once you are happy with the recording you can save and share it with your little ones via the website, iPad or iPhone (free in iTunes). If you have an ipad2 you can create the recordings on the go! You can also record while reading the story with your child before you are deployed and your little one can cherish your story time together until you return.

And Android users, we aren’t leaving you out. If you have not yet taken a bite out of the Apple, Zoodles is another great app that also has a companion Kid Mode app (free on Android Market). Currently they have 13 recordable storybooks, and a ton of age-appropriate games and art project s. If you sign up you will get weekly reports of what your little one is up to while playing with the application. Their introductory book Three Little Pigs is free, but you can also buy other books for $2.99 or with a premium subscription get them for free ($7.95 per month, $39.95 for six months or $59.95 for a year).

For those who want something a little less techie, Hallmark, Reader’s Digest, Publications International and many others offer recordable storybooks (from $10-$35) that provide built-in voice recorders to capture your voice as you read the story to your child. Each page has a separate recording device and you can record as many times as necessary to create the perfect storybook. When the child opens the book, special sensors determine which page the child is on and play back your recording. You can also lock the book so it cannot be accidentally erased. Titles include “Guess How Much I Love You” and “Hey Diddle, Diddle!” and “Goodnight Moon,” and there are even books based on licensed characters such as Cars, Thomas the Train, Disney Princess and Elmo.

Also remember that everyone loves bedtime stories. So think about recording your own family bedtime storybook to send to your soldier while deployed. Your soldier will love hearing the voices of the ones (s)he loves reading their favorite story.

Video Cards or Messages

e-Card

If you are craving something a bit more personal (such as creating a personalized video card) try creating and editing your own video with the Pixorial app. Creating memories that last a lifetime has never been easier! Pixorial believes it should be easy to create, edit, and share videos across time and space using multiple devices (including both IOS and Android). You can also share your videos via all your social media outlets such as Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or YouTube. The free service offers 1GB of video storage space or for a minimal $19.99/year you can have 10GB of video storage. You can even choose to order DVDs of your favorite clips.

If you want something a little less involved, create a “Starring You” e-card. JibJab is a web-based e-card development site that allows you to create animated e-cards for any occasion by integrating pictures of your family and friends into the cards. Membership is $12 per year ($1 per month) for unlimited access to the e-card development site.

Parental Responsibilities

Apps can do much more these days that just help us to connect. They can also help us be better parents. For military families deployment often means parental responsibilities rest on the shoulders of the parent or caregiver at home. But now, even deployed parents can get involved with some of the responsibilities of parenting.

Keeping up with Household Chores

Chores

If you want to help your partner ensure your children are doing their chores, there are now apps like Epic Win and Your Rule Chores that help keep track of the chores your children complete. With Epic Win, once you install the app on your iPad or iPhone ($2.99 on iTunes) you get a full-featured to-do list that supports repeating tasks, reminders for overdue events, and time-critical events that can be assigned to specific days of the week. Each time a task is completed it is destroyed by your child’s Avatar. Further, Epic Win integrates into your Google Calendar so you know when your child has completed a chore.

With You Rule Chores, simply install the app on your iPad or iPhone ($3.99 on iTunes). Each child gets their own avatar and as chores are completed, the children earn coins (similar to an allowance), level up (new gadgets and powers), and the first one to complete ALL their chores Rules! With parental controls such as password protection, chore creation, wish list approval, and daily reminders getting the children to complete their chores has never been easier. While multi-device synching is not yet available, the developers promise it will be delivered in the near-future.

Homework

Homework

 

Homework can be a daily battle for many parents. But now many schools have begun to implement parent portals that allow parents to access their child’s progress reports online. These portals are secure and allow parents access to all work the child has completed as well as incomplete and future assignments. So the next time you ask your child what they learned in school, you will know exactly what your child is studying. To inquire about a parent portal, email your child’s teacher or call the school.

 

 

 

Schedules and Routines

Digital Calendar

Being a parent requires quite a bit of scheduling. For deployed parents, feelings of being left out are not uncommon. One way to help the deployed parent or caregiver feel they are a part of the daily activities of the family is to create a family calendar using a web-based Google Calendar. Because Google Calendar syncs with all devices, it offers a perfect option for families on the go. Simply create a shared calendar, download the Google Calendar to your device, and sync. Once everyone has the calendar on their device, each member can add things that all family members can view or edit. Color-coding, email or text reminders, event invitation and tracking, email integration, and interesting calendars make Google Calendar a great tool for connecting families. And as illustrated above, some of the apps highlighted here even sync with your Google Calendar making it easy to keep up with the family’s schedule with just one glance.

Whether you are looking to record a bedtime story, share a special moment, create a video card, celebrate a special event, or enhance your parental responsibilities across time and space, the technology to help you bond with your loved ones is only a click away. Because now, there’s an app for that!

So what are we missing? What apps do you use to stay connected to your loved ones across time and space? Share your ideas in the comments below!

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10 Reasons to be Passionate about Working with Military Families

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

Military Family

As someone who comes from a long line of military families I can attest to some of the difficulties faced when choosing the military lifestyle. Now that I am part of the Military Families Learning Network, I would like to share some of the reasons why I am so passionate about working with these amazing families.

  1. Military families are strong! Military families face enormous amounts of stress yet their strength shines through, all the time, every time!
  2. Military families are passionate! They give everything they can to their country and responsibilities with a service oriented mind, body and soul.
  3. Military families have a great sense of humor. Even in the face of deployments, stress, war, and injuries they never forget to laugh.
  4. Military families always give! No matter how bad things get, military families are always there to lend a hand. From caring for another’s children, to helping those who are sick or injured, the support military families offer to others is ingrained in the culture.
  5. Military families are amazingly resilient! Our service members deal with multiple deployments, have lived through a decade of war, relocate regularly and often co-parent at a distance. Yet, they consistently display an intense level of resiliency.
  6. The children of military families are amazing too! They adapt through multiple school transfers, sometimes adapting to multiple cultures, deal with being separated from their deployed parent(s), and sometimes deal with serious injuries when a wounded warrior comes home. They struggle with missing their loved ones, family and friends yet they are brave and resilient through it all.
  7. Military families take their service seriously. When a service member enlists, it is not a small decision, it is a family decision. At an event to honor Military children, First Lady Michelle Obama expressed her gratitude for military families by stating, “When we talk about service to our country, when we talk about all that sacrifice for a cause, when we talk about patriotism and courage and resilience, we’re not just talking about our troops and our veterans, we’re talking about our military families, as well.” We couldn’t have said it better.
  8. The extended family of a military family serves our country too! Parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and more consistently open their homes to children during deployments. They send care packages to their soldier, and offer unwavering support to the service family. These family members never fail to serve right alongside their soldiers.
  9. The love of a military spouse is like a rock! From maintaining a positive attitude during the stress of deployment, to playing the role of single parent, to their unconditional love, support and devotion to their service member, military spouses serve their country just as much as their soldier.
  10. Military families stand behind their service member! While loved ones may wipe away the tears when a soldier is deployed, they support that soldier with all their heart. They remain steadfast through the difficult times and the happy times because they know how much it means to their soldier to serve his or her country. And for military families, that is reason enough.

Check out the videos below to learn other reasons why member of the Military Families Learning Network are so passionate about serving military families!

Dr. Francesca Adler Baeder: What makes you so passionate about military families?

Dr. Gary Bowen: What makes you so passionate about military families?

Dr. Angela Huebner: What makes you so passionate about military families?

Now it’s your turn, why are you passionate about serving military families?

Share your story in the comments section below.

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What One Word Describes Military Families?

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Military Father and Daughter

What One Word Describes Military Families?

If you were to do a search on Google to find out what word describes military families, you would learn quite a lot. In fact, there are many words that are used to describe military families.

Initially, we may think of words like resilient, connected, dedicated, proud, and independent. Then we think about all that our military families go through to protect our country and other words such as stressed, deployed, worried, struggling, and overwhelmed come to mind.

We asked a few experts in the field of family studies how they might describe military families and their answers were inspiring! Take a look at how these family scientists describe our military families today.

What word would you use to describe military families? Share your ideas in the comments below.

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Kids Deploy Too!

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Kids Deploy Too!

Deployed Military Kids

We have all participated in information sharing regarding military families and deployment. We discuss how to support the “solo parenting” partner left behind, how to help the deployed parent remain connected to his or her family, and how to support the co-parenting efforts of these families. However, one thing not readily discussed is programming designed to support our “deployed” military children.

Our military children grow up through multiple deployments, often leaving them without one or both parents for extended periods of time. These separations take their toll and our military kids must do what they can to get through.

The Department of Defense and the National Center for Telehealth & Technology recognized a need to support these military kids, and they are doing just that, with the development of a new website called MilitaryKidsConnect.org. The site was designed to do exactly what the name implies. Military Kids Connect strives to help prepare our military children for the challenges they face during the significant parental deployments and family transitions they experience every day.

MilitaryKidsConnect, affectionately referred to as MKC is an online community developed specifically for military children (ages 6-17 yr old). MKC provides military kids with a safe and secure environment where they can access age-appropriate resources designed to support children from pre-deployment, through a parent’s or caregiver’s return.

MKC is packed full of fun designed just for kids! Once logged in your kids will have access to games, activities, helpful videos of other kids who have been through deployments, and user surveys all designed to reinforce resilience, understanding, and coping skills in your military children and their peers. In order to develop a sense of connectivity with other military children, there are also message boards (parental approval required), interactive maps, a personal scrapbooking application and more.

MKC Logo

 

According to the MKC website: “Through participation in MKC‘s monitored online forums, children can share their own ideas, experiences, and suggestions with other military children, helping them to know they are not alone in dealing with the stresses of deployment.”

 

 

As with other sites open to our children, safety is the number one priority for MKC. The webmasters have provided parental access to control and monitor your child’s activities on the site. Parents and caregivers can login and navigate the site prior to their child’s participation so that they are aware of the activities and content their child(ren) will see and use. In addition to this, top security measures are in place to prevent undesirable persons from interacting with the children on the MKC site.

For more information on MilitaryKidsConnect .org see the following video: https://www.militarykidsconnect.org/resources/press/MilitaryKidsConnect_Overview.mp4

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